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The Caregiver's Soapbox

Volume 17    www. thedead-beat.com    Issue 5


Ducks in a Row

By Robert L. “Robby” Bates, CFSP, CCO


ducks


Celebrating our Helpmates and Honoring Those Who Came a Long Time Before!!!!!!!!!

The phone numbers used to be "Mable, get me........."; or 130, or 4141. Would the dialer want an ambulance or the funeral director, or just information about a service? Nevertheless, the call would come in to the funeral home for the necessity of responding to an auto accident or the death of a community resident, or the time and location of a funeral service. Okay, there was no answering service, so someone!, somebody! had to be there to answer the funeral home telephone!!!! Had to be! Must be! Critical to be there and ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!!! The business depended on it, whether it was ambulance , death call or information.

Of course, the funeral home usually had someone living above the first floor who could answer the telephone. Usually, it was the owner and wife. Or the hired funeral
director/embalmer and his wife and children. Or perhaps it was a local friend that could "sit in" and answer "THE PHONE" while the funeral director/owner and wife went
to church, or civic club, or doctors appointment, or whatever the occasion was. The phone had to be attended to by SOMEONE!

Many, many times it fell to the funeral directors' wives! Our woefully unappreciated wives in this regard! You see, in those days marriage to a funeral director included, not only loving him, but supporting him in "the business" in every way that she could. Oh, did I mention babies newly arrived in the family?

Let's see! The wife now gets to add nurturing, changing diapers (the washable kind for every washday) and hanging them out on the clothes line in the backyard or porch.

Let's remind her of "THE PHONE" while she is doing all those housewife duties and keep her close to a wall-wired telephone; or breakaway to come downstairs and sit in the office to greet people and answer "THE PHONE". She needs to do this because her husband must go to the post office or city hall for death certificates. Perhaps she
brought the baby or babies down with her to do this for her husband/ "the business". So many years, so many times of answering "the phone!" And yet, the families and work was served by the funeral director and his spouse "behind the scenes." The babies grew up sometimes having to answer "the phone" as well in their teenage years. Anyway, it all got done!! Husband, wife, and children remember those days, even now! And so, some of those children-babies have grown up and maybe became funeral directors themselves. And their wives have had to accept similar funeral director duties and circumstances. The tradition goes on!

And now to my tribute! To my mother, my wife, and to all the spouses in funeral service, thank you for your love, understanding, and helpful duties around the funeral home and for the business! I hope it has been worth it all, because it surely has been to me! Thank You so much!




Robert L. "Robby" Bates, CFSP, CCO, owner of Bates Family Funeral Home in De Kalb, Texas, A Certified Funeral Service Professional, Robby graduated from the Dallas Institute of Mortuary Science and received his BS from Stephen F. Austin in Nacogdoches, Texas, and a BBA and MBA from East Texas State University-Texarkana. A long-time member of the Texas Funeral Directors Association, Robby has served his state association as president and has been an active chairman and member on many state committees. After serving as the 2002-03 president of the Texas Funeral Directors Association, Robby went on to serve as the Texas state representative to the NFDA Policy Board. Robby has taken on many roles with NFDA, including serving on several committees, such as Spokesperson, Operations, Audit and Budget. He served as an inaugural member of NFDA's Professional Conduct Committee. Robby has served as an at-large representative, secretary, treasurer, president-elect and president on NFDA's Executive Board. You can send questions or comments to his email: Rducks@aol.com.


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